PLEASE FACE MONEY CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME OR BUSINESS BEFOREHAND! (Part II)

Guest Author: Shel Miller Ph.D.


It is a necessary loss to take care to plan responsibly and talk easily and openly about how to manage expenditures before crunch time. Partnership means strategically fashioning a fair, balanced, mutually reciprocal teamwork - a team wherein you respectfully support one another.

Certainly it is worth reviewing differing attitudes about earning, spending, and budgeting money. Ask each other about conscious expectations and about role models. Hopefully partners will even access some of the heretofore hidden images from the past, stored in their brains.

Variations in how partners approach the size of their diamond engagement ring and wedding reception or the decor of your offices reflect the differing messages about money that each received from parents and extended family. Some lessons were intentionally transmitted. Other teachings were by example, including the unintended lessons.

For example, was money meant to be spent or saved, used freely for luxuries or just necessities, to be hidden or spent conspicuously? There may have been confusion between the resources of love and money. For money is often the only "nurturing" that some (e.g. workaholic) parents are able to give their spouse or children.

Feeling inferior and competitive with friends of higher socioeconomic status may cause conflict with a spouse or business partner taught to be prudent with resources. How would you feel about pressure to buy the marital or company car that represents an announcement of status? These dynamics may need to be teased out and negotiated with the assistance of a coach in addition to your accountant and attorney.


Wouldn't it be easier to explore these possibilities collaboratively while first falling in love, choosing your co-executive, or developing your business and marketing plans?


Dr. Shel J. Miller is an Executive, Family and Divorce coach. As the Keep-It-Together Expert, his mission is to lift spirits by restoring hope and peace in relationships that are struggling. He does this through Family Event Coaching and working as a Child Specialist with Collaborative Attorneys and a Parent Coordinator post litigation. His website is http://www.shelmiller.com/ and he may be reached at 617-731-9174 or ShelMiller@rcn.com.


NOW AVAILABLE: PARKING SPACES (SUBCOMPACT OR SMALLER) FOR RENT ON NAPLES RD., BROOKLINE. CALL SHEL AT THE NUMBER ABOVE FOR MORE INFORMATION.

STRESS-FREE HOLIDAY GIFT

EASY RELAXING MEDITATION (CD) with Joan Hardy MS, MSPT

Would you like to

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In just a few minutes, you can begin to experience relaxation and a greater sense of well-being.

This is meditation for everyone - clearly presented and not connected to any specific spiritual tradition. (65 minutes)

Joan Hardy MS, MSPT is a physical therapist, health educator, and long-time meditator. At her practice in Brookline, Massachusetts she offers therapeutic massage, energy work, posture/flexibility assessment, and home/office workspace assessment. She can be reached at 617-738-8222.

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Please enclose your check or money order payable to Joan Hardy. (Sorry, no credit cards). Refunds are available only for items that arrive in damaged condition. Payment and order form may be sent to Joan Hardy, 48 Dwight St., Suite 6, Brookline, MA 02446. Please call 617-738-8222 with any questions.

LESS SLUMBER = MORE POUNDS ?

Two new studies suggest that not getting enough sleep can increase blood levels of ghrelin, a hunger-stimulating hormone. Ghrelin, in turn, triggers a decrease in the levels of the hormone leptin. Leptin is believed to help control appetite by sending messages to the brain that there is no need for more food. The result? Increased cravings for high calorie, high carbohydrate foods.

Subjects in the two studies slept less than five hours each night. Their blood levels of ghrelin increased and leptin decreased. People who slept the least gained the most weight. Furthermore, they had a higher ratio of body fat. When study subjects received adequate rest, blood levels of the two hormones returned to normal.

So . . . be sure to get your forty winks! (And seek professional assistance for sleep difficulties.)

PLEASE FACE MONEY CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME OR BUSINESS BEFOREHAND! (Part I)

Guest Author: Shel Miller Ph.D.


You really need to stay objective and thinking with your head as much as heart from the beginning of any partnership. For a sense of financial well being it behooves you to learn a partner's idiosyncratic reactions to earning, sharing, and investing money. Your partner's relationship to money, even if raised by the same (e.g. siblings in a business) or similar parents will be different. So you must understand that difference, rather than becoming a resistant victim of that discrepancy.

Marriage is thought of as that developmental step that says, "We're grown up." Yet it is divorce, for many couples, that provides the trigger that requires responsible adult behavior. Separation challenges one to grow: to understand tax law, to plan for asset accumulation and preservation, and to implement a rational budget without which there will be no viable life strategy for the future.

Some people avoid creating a budget. So stress heightens when attorneys ask for financials. In business, some grow too fast or while significant in size never get around to creating a board to oversee its mission, its changing challenges, or even the way one rewards talent or downsizes staff. Unresolved differences could eventually lead to divorce or business dissolution, which taxes the heart and pocketbook simultaneously.

Life is a series of necessary and potential losses and gains. Some occur as a result of nature (illness, death, accident, or childbirth) and others due to circumstances (job loss, stock plummets, bankruptcy, promotions, or lottery success). Strategic planning either in the boardroom or bedroom takes time away from doing business or having fun. Rather than take away that precious time now, such planning gets postponed.


So, will you select the loss of time now or a much bigger and even more painful monetary loss later? (Part II to follow in 2009!)



Dr. Shel J. Miller is an Executive, Family, and Divorce coach. As the Keep-It-Together Expert, his mission is to lift spirits by restoring hope and peace in relationships that are struggling. He does this through Family Event Coaching and working as a Child Specialist with Collaborative Attorneys and a Parent Coordinator post litigation. His website is http://www.shelmiller.com/ and he may be reached at 617-731-9174 or ShelMiller@rcn.com

IT'S TIME FOR AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR BODY!

Are you looking for:

- relief for those aching muscles?

- assistance with healing and preventing injuries?

- a way to feel less stressed and sleep better?

- a treat for yourself?

- a wonderful gift for that special someone?


THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE IS THE ANSWER !


I am a licensed, board-certified physical therapist in practice since 1988. My Coolidge Corner, Brookline office is located conveniently to free parking and public transportation.

I also offer ergonomic workspace assessment, posture and flexibility assessment, energy work and relaxation/meditation CD's.

Day and evening sessions are available by appointment. Please call 617-738-8222.

Fees (subject to change): Sliding scale: $60-$85 for one hour, $90-$115 for one and a half hours. Gift certificates are available.

FINANCIAL PLANNING

The economy is a top news story and the end of the year is approaching -- it's a good time for a financial review. Consider:

$$$ Goals and Priorities: Outline or reconfirm your financial goals. Then examine your budget -- do your spending and saving reflect your priorities? If, like most people, your living expenses are increasing, think about realistic ways to change your money habits, especially in the areas of transportation, utilities, food, and clothing.

$$$ Dealing with Debt: If you don't have enough money left over after expenses to invest for retirement or are using credit to finance your lifestyle, it's critical to re-evaluate your choices. Create a plan to eliminate debt, especially high interest rate credit card balances, and manage your cash flow so as not to add to outstanding debt.

$$$ Life Changes: Take in to account any significant life events such as marital status changes and the birth of a child or grandchild. Remember to update beneficiary designations on accounts and insurance policies. Review all legal documents -- wills, powers of attorney, advanced medical directives, and medical proxies.

$$$ Insurance Coverage: Insurance needs change over time, so make sure your policies provide appropriate coverage in the areas of life, health, disability, vehicle, professional liability, long-term care, and property or rental.

$$$ Taxes: Are you withholding too much? If so, consider making adjustments and using the extra cash flow to maximize your retirement contributions before the end of the year.
Source: T. Rowe Price Investor

FALL FUN

Are you planning to do some hiking and leaf-peeping this Fall? Make sure you're properly equipped as uneven terrain can take a toll on your feet and ankles.

1. Athletic shoes are not designed for steep or slippery trails. Instead, look for sturdy, well-insulated, moisture-proof hiking boots with steel or graphite shanks to support arches and reduce muscle fatigue. If a boot bends in the middle, don't buy it. High tops will prevent ankle sprains and Achilles tendon injuries.

2. Wear a first layer of thin socks to prevent blisters and fungal infections while keeping feet dry. A second layer of wool socks adds warmth and absorbs moisture away from the skin to decrease irritation.

3. If you're not accustomed to walking on sloped or uneven ground, the muscles in your legs and feet may tire and ache. To avoid injuries, take frequent rest breaks and don't forget to stretch when you're done hiking. A warm bath and massage afterwards can ease the pain.

Here's some informative websites for your Autumn adventures:
www.gonewenglandabout.com and www.foliagenetwork.com
Source: International Health, Raquet and Sportsclub Association (IHRSA)




And here's another fun Fall outing --

See beautiful photographs and perhaps take care of some holiday shopping . . .

Al Brass, my neighbor and talented senior citizen, is having an exhibit of his photography which is reminiscent of his teacher, Ansel Adams.

Oct. 1 - Dec. 31, 2008
Opening reception Thurs. Oct. 16 4:30 - 6:30 PM
Brookline Senior Center
93 Winchester St. Brookline 617 - 730 - 2770

All are welcome to enjoy and support a local artist!