PLEASE FACE MONEY CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME OR BUSINESS BEFOREHAND! (Part II)

Guest Author: Shel Miller Ph.D.


It is a necessary loss to take care to plan responsibly and talk easily and openly about how to manage expenditures before crunch time. Partnership means strategically fashioning a fair, balanced, mutually reciprocal teamwork - a team wherein you respectfully support one another.

Certainly it is worth reviewing differing attitudes about earning, spending, and budgeting money. Ask each other about conscious expectations and about role models. Hopefully partners will even access some of the heretofore hidden images from the past, stored in their brains.

Variations in how partners approach the size of their diamond engagement ring and wedding reception or the decor of your offices reflect the differing messages about money that each received from parents and extended family. Some lessons were intentionally transmitted. Other teachings were by example, including the unintended lessons.

For example, was money meant to be spent or saved, used freely for luxuries or just necessities, to be hidden or spent conspicuously? There may have been confusion between the resources of love and money. For money is often the only "nurturing" that some (e.g. workaholic) parents are able to give their spouse or children.

Feeling inferior and competitive with friends of higher socioeconomic status may cause conflict with a spouse or business partner taught to be prudent with resources. How would you feel about pressure to buy the marital or company car that represents an announcement of status? These dynamics may need to be teased out and negotiated with the assistance of a coach in addition to your accountant and attorney.


Wouldn't it be easier to explore these possibilities collaboratively while first falling in love, choosing your co-executive, or developing your business and marketing plans?


Dr. Shel J. Miller is an Executive, Family and Divorce coach. As the Keep-It-Together Expert, his mission is to lift spirits by restoring hope and peace in relationships that are struggling. He does this through Family Event Coaching and working as a Child Specialist with Collaborative Attorneys and a Parent Coordinator post litigation. His website is http://www.shelmiller.com/ and he may be reached at 617-731-9174 or ShelMiller@rcn.com.


NOW AVAILABLE: PARKING SPACES (SUBCOMPACT OR SMALLER) FOR RENT ON NAPLES RD., BROOKLINE. CALL SHEL AT THE NUMBER ABOVE FOR MORE INFORMATION.