PLEASE FACE MONEY CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME OR BUSINESS BEFOREHAND! (Part I)

Guest Author: Shel Miller Ph.D.


You really need to stay objective and thinking with your head as much as heart from the beginning of any partnership. For a sense of financial well being it behooves you to learn a partner's idiosyncratic reactions to earning, sharing, and investing money. Your partner's relationship to money, even if raised by the same (e.g. siblings in a business) or similar parents will be different. So you must understand that difference, rather than becoming a resistant victim of that discrepancy.

Marriage is thought of as that developmental step that says, "We're grown up." Yet it is divorce, for many couples, that provides the trigger that requires responsible adult behavior. Separation challenges one to grow: to understand tax law, to plan for asset accumulation and preservation, and to implement a rational budget without which there will be no viable life strategy for the future.

Some people avoid creating a budget. So stress heightens when attorneys ask for financials. In business, some grow too fast or while significant in size never get around to creating a board to oversee its mission, its changing challenges, or even the way one rewards talent or downsizes staff. Unresolved differences could eventually lead to divorce or business dissolution, which taxes the heart and pocketbook simultaneously.

Life is a series of necessary and potential losses and gains. Some occur as a result of nature (illness, death, accident, or childbirth) and others due to circumstances (job loss, stock plummets, bankruptcy, promotions, or lottery success). Strategic planning either in the boardroom or bedroom takes time away from doing business or having fun. Rather than take away that precious time now, such planning gets postponed.


So, will you select the loss of time now or a much bigger and even more painful monetary loss later? (Part II to follow in 2009!)



Dr. Shel J. Miller is an Executive, Family, and Divorce coach. As the Keep-It-Together Expert, his mission is to lift spirits by restoring hope and peace in relationships that are struggling. He does this through Family Event Coaching and working as a Child Specialist with Collaborative Attorneys and a Parent Coordinator post litigation. His website is http://www.shelmiller.com/ and he may be reached at 617-731-9174 or ShelMiller@rcn.com