A PERFECT PRESENT

It's that time of year again . . . the search for holiday gifts is on! Do you know someone who fits the following description? The Easy Relaxing Meditation CD would be the perfect present for them!

Would you like to
- feel calmer?
- sleep more soundly?
- handle stressful situations better?
- be more productive and creative?

Meditation can help! You can learn to meditate with the step-by-step instructions on this CD and how to apply what you've learned to your daily life.

In just a few minutes, you can begin to experience relaxation and a greater sense of well-being.

This is meditation for everyone - clearly presented and not connected to any specific spiritual tradition. (65 minutes)

Please send the following to Joan Hardy MS, MSPT at 48 Dwight St. Suite 6, Brookline, MA, 02446: your name, address, phone number and email. Please enclose your check or money order payable to Joan Hardy for $20.00 for each CD which includes shipping and tax. Refunds are available only for items that arrive in damaged condition. Please call 617-738-8222 with any questions.

ARE YOUR DONATIONS ACTUALLY DOING GOOD?

Charities need our help now more than ever. Here's how to be sure your dollars are going where you intend:

* Check the organization's performance at www.bbb.org/us/charity (Better Business Bureau), www.guidestar.org, and www.charitywatch.org.

* Many charities have similar-sounding names -- don't assume the one soliciting you is the same one you have in mind.

* A charity that wants your money today will accept it tomorrow, so don't be pressured in to an on-the-spot gift. Research appeals marked "crisis" or "emergency" by checking the organization's finances, governance, and track record on their website.

* If the organization's mission is unclear, ask for their annual report.

* To determine if your gift is tax-deductible, go to www.irs.gov, Publication 78 for a directory of eligible organizations. Be sure to keep good records for tax time.

* Give directly at a charity's dedicated website rather than responding to online solicitations; they often link to third-party sites that keep a portion of your donation as a processing fee.
Source: Better Business Bureau


THE HOLIDAYS WILL SOON BE UPON US ~ GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE AND EASY RELAXING MEDITATION CDs MAKE PERFECT PRESENTS FOR CLIENTS AND COLLEAGUES, FAMILY AND FRIENDS!Please call Joan at 617-738-8222 for more information.

HOW TO AVOID OVERPAYING ON YOUR HOSPITAL BILLS

Did you know 8 out of every 10 hospital bills contain multiple errors? Even if your insurer covers overcharges, they will count toward your lifetime spending cap. Here's what to look for:

~ Incorrect basic data - if information such as your insurance group number is wrong, the amount the plan covered is likely to be off too.

~ Unbundled fees - call your insurer to see whether multiple lab tests in one day should have been bundled under one fee, and what items are included in kit, tray, and room fees to avoid duplicate charges. Operating room fees, for example, cover sheets, gowns, and gloves.

~ Duplicate orders for medications, lab work, or room fees - you might be billed for a canceled procedure, or for 11 cholesterol tests instead of one.

~ Operating room times - the anesthesia record states what times surgery began and ended. With O.R. rates ranging from $69 to $270 per minute, being over-billed for extra minutes can add up.

~ Up-selling - if your doctor orders a generic drug but the hospital provides you with a more costly brand-name version, you are not responsible for the increased charges.
Source: Consumer Reports

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The holidays will soon be upon us -- gift certificates for therapeutic massage and Easy Relaxing Meditation CD's make perfect presents for everyone on your list -- friends and family, colleagues and clients. It's stress-free for you and the recipient! Please call me at 617-738-8222 for more information.

CAN CURVED SHOES REPLACE EXERCISE ?

You may have seen ads for footwear with curved soles such as Shape Ups, Easy Tone, and Fitflops that claim to promote weight loss and tone muscles with no exercise needed outside of your normal daily activities. Is this possible?

The shoe manufacturers have produced studies showing that the instability and heaviness of the shoes increase leg muscle activation, resulting in lost pounds and chiseled muscles. To date, there has been no independent research supporting these claims performed by scientists outside of the shoe industry.

Medical experts are expressing doubt, stating that even if the leg muscles are working harder, the shoes are not a substitute for a regular exercise program. In addition, they can create painful conditions in the legs and feet.

Bottom line: There is no scientific evidence that these "gym built in" shoes are a magic bullet replacement for exercise!
Source: www.CNNhealth.com


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FREE, expert health information can be found at www.JohnsHopkinsHealthAlerts.com! You may read dozens of helpful articles on the website with topics from arthritis to weight control, as well as opting for e-mail updates.

6 EASY MONEY-SAVING TIPS FOR YOUR HOME AND OFFICE

1. Instead of post-its or note pads, use a white board for communications.

2. The blank sides of one-sided junk mail and documents are useful scrap paper for messages and rough copy writing and computer work.

3. Rather than paper towels, use rags for cleaning (great for the car, as well). Worn out clothing and linens work fine, or purchase reusable microfiber "miracle" cloths.

4. If you're going to be away from your computer from more than an hour, turn it off.

5. Many electronics use electricity even when they are turned off, accounting for about 5% of your monthly utility bill. Plug your computer and electronic accessories in to one power strip and switch off the whole strip when not in use.

6. Addicted to your daily Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts coffee drinks? Recipes to make them inexpensively yourself can be found with an online search (example: "frappuccino recipe"). And of course, preparing your own meals can save a bundle.

In addition to the financial benefits, these simple changes are "green" too!

SMART PACKING

Traveling for business or pleasure? Here's how to avoid wrinkled clothes covered with shampoo!

-Begin organizing a week before the trip by thinking about what you will wear each day. Start with lots of options and pare down.

- Layer items in your suitcase with heaviest items at the bottom and a copy of your itinerary on top.

- Use plastic from dry cleaning or garbage bags to wrap easily wrinkled clothing. Put the plastic between layers to keep everything crisp. Include additional bags for laundry.

- Pack shoes with socks or stockings inside them and soles facing out.

- To keep jackets wrinkle-free, turn them inside out and stuff socks or stockings into the sleeves.

- Use Ziploc bags for toiletries.

- Never pack valuables, jewelry, or medications in your suitcase - keep these in a carry on only.
Source: Lisa Jacobs, professional organizer

SUNGLASSES SAVVY

Ultraviolet rays can increase the risk of cataracts and age-related macular degeneration. The most protective sunglasses are large-framed, close-fitting, and wraparound. Look for a label that say "blocks 99-100% of UVA and UVB rays" or "absorbs up to 400 nm of UV radiation."

Tint is mainly a matter of preference. Darker lenses don't necessarily provide more protection.

Polarized block light waves that align in horizontal patterns when reflecting off flat surfaces, so they're useful for driving, skiing, and fishing.

Mirror coating is derived from thin layers of metal coating ordinary lenses and doesn't automatically convey UVA/UVB protection.

Blue blocking are amber-colored lenses that protect eyes from blue visible light, to which the retina may be more sensitive.

Impact resistant is a requirement of the Food and Drug Administration for all sunglasses to survive an impact test without fracturing but not to be shatterproof.

Polycarbonate is a plastic that resists impact especially well.

Photochromic lenses lighten or darken in response to sunlight's intensity.
Sources: American Academy of Ophthalmology, Consumer Reports

HOW TO CAN CELL-PHONE SPAM

The 2005 Can-Spam Act prohibits commercial e-mail and text messages from being sent to cell phones without "express prior authorization." But the law has loopholes. Your carrier and its partners can send offers, and charities and campaigns can send you messages on your dime. Cell-phone owners who don't have a text-messaging plan might have to pay up to 20 cents for each unwanted message. Here's how to can that spam:

1. Act fast. Call your carrier as soon as you receive spam; don't wait until several dozen pile up. And fill out the Federal Communications Commission Form 1088G (www.fcc.gov) or call the FCC at 888-225-5322.

2. Block spam at the source. Go to your cell account online and access your e-mail or messaging preferences, then activate the setting that blocks messages over the Internet. Some carriers let you block only certain messages, allowing you to keep those from your bank, for example.

3. Register your cell at www.donotcall.gov to block telemarketers.

4. Avoid some downloads. Ring tones and games from third-party vendors could lead to spam, fraudulent charges, or identity theft.
Source: Consumer Reports

QUIZ: HOW MUCH DOES YOUR WEIGHT DEPEND ON YOUR GENES?

To find out, answer yes or no to each question:

Section A

1. I have been overweight for much of my life.

2. One or both of my parents, or several other blood relatives, are significantly overweight.

3. I can't lose weight even when I faithfully stick to a reducing diet and increase my activity for several months.

Section B

1. I am strongly tempted by the availability of food.

2. I'm moderately overweight, but I can lose weight when I diet and exercise.

3. I tend to gain weight easily if I don't follow a healthy diet.

Section C

1. I've never really been overweight.

2. I can eat almost anything I want and not gain weight.

3. I don't exercise much, and my weight stays normal.

Scoring: If you answered yes to two or more statements in Section A, genes are probably a significant contributor to your weight issues. For people with very strong genetic predisposition, sheer willpower can be tough in counteracting the tendency to be overweight. But you can achieve and maintain weight loss under a doctor's guidance.

If you answered yes to two or more statements in Section B, genes are probably a lower contributor for you. While you have some genetic predisposition to be heavy, it's not so great that you can't overcome it with some effort devoted to diet and exercise.

If you answered yes to two or more statements in Section C, your genetic predisposition to obesity is low. You have a good chance of losing weight by eating fewer calories and getting more vigorous exercise. It may also be easier for you to keep it off. Ask your doctor for weight loss help.
Source: Nancy Snyderman MD, Diet Myths That Keep Us Fat

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INVEST IN YOUR HEALTH FOR GUARANTEED HIGH RETURNS ~~ SCHEDULE A MASSAGE TODAY !

CAR QUESTIONS

Q: IF MY DEALER GOES OUT OF BUSINESS, WHERE SHOULD I SERVICE MY CAR?
A good independent shop that specializes in your brand should be able to handle routine maintenance and repairs. But you need a dealer for warranty and recall work. If there's no other dealer in your area, call the automaker's customer assistance number in the owner's manual to find out where to take your car. Often, warranty repairs can be performed at other brand dealerships linked to the same automaker. Sometimes an automaker will arrange for dealers of another manufacturer to handle the work.

Q: HOW DO I FIND A GOOD REPAIR SHOP?
Ask people you know for recommendations. Or go to www.cartalk.com and www.repairpal.com which have names and user reviews for local independent garages. Consider a shop that is approved by AAA and is a member of the Better Business Bureau. Its technicians should be certified by the National Institute for Automotive Service Excellence; go to www.ase.com for more information. Mechanics who specialize in your vehicle's make are more likely to have the proper training, equipment, and information. Try the shop with a small job to see how you like it.

Q: IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO LEASE?
Because of volatile resale values, some automakers have cut back on leasing. Over the long run, leasing typically costs more than buying, though monthly payments are lower. Don't assume the lease payments shown in an ad are locked in; negotiate the car's price as if you were buying before discussing the leasing terms. If you already lease, it might be a good time to negotiate the buy-out price. Many automakers don't want the cars back at the end of the lease.
Source: Consumer Reports

EXERCISE FOR A BETTER IMMUNE SYSTEM?

Recent studies show that moderate, regular exercise strengthens the immune system. During moderate exercise, protective cells circulate through the body more quickly to fight off bacteria and viruses. To help your immune system:

- Engage in at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity most days of the week

- Strive for good nutrition and an appropriate amount of sleep

- Learn how to manage stress

- Avoid rapid weight loss which can weaken the immune system

- Wash your hands with soap frequently

- Avoid over training - too much exercise can weaken the immune system. More than 90 minutes of high intensity endurance exercise increases risk of illness for up to 72 hours. During long bouts of high intensity exercise, be sure to get enough sleep and eat a well-balanced diet to decrease risk.

-Rest and avoid intense exercise if you have fever, muscle aches, exhaustion, or swollen glands. Your body needs the energy to fight off the illness.
Source: Plus One Fitness

DO YOU KNOW A STRESSED OUT DAD? GIVE HIM A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR MASSAGE AND AN EASY RELAXING MEDITATION CD FOR FATHER'S DAY (SUN. JUNE 21ST)!

PROTECT YOURSELF IF A RETAILER GOES BANKRUPT

With many businesses filing for bankruptcy, it's wise to take precautions. Here's how:

When buying:

• Use a credit card, especially when leaving a deposit. If the business fails without providing your merchandise, you can dispute the charge with the card issuer. You might also be protected if there is a problem with the quality of goods for which you have already been billed. You generally have less recourse if you paid with cash, a check, or a debit card.
• Spend gift cards. Use cards and certificates as soon as you can, even if there's no reason to suspect the retailer is having financial difficulties.

After a bankruptcy:

• Verify warranty coverage. Ask the store (or the provider of a third-party warranty) whether you are still covered.
• File any claim with the manufacturer or retailer. If a retailer fails, you still might be able to make a warranty claim with the manufacturer. If the manufacturer goes bankrupt, you may have similar rights with the retailer. Consult the Federal Trade Commission website for more information at www.ftc.gov.
• File with the bankruptcy court. Consumers are usually near the end of the list of creditors and won't recover much during bankruptcy proceedings. But some consumers, including gift card holders, might be able to move ahead by applying as priority creditors. Check online for the name of the court where the company filed for bankruptcy. If the company simply disappeared, ask your local consumer protection agency for advice.

Source: Consumer Reports

PREVENTING PAINFUL CONDITIONS

With the milder weather, many of us are increasing our outdoors activities such as walking, running, and tennis. Listed below are some common injuries. If you experience any symptoms, please see your medical professional immediately -- these conditions heal much more quickly if treated early.


1. Plantar Fasciitis - The band of tissue that runs from the heel to the toes becomes inflamed producing pain in the heel and along the bottom of the foot

2. Achilles Tendinitis - Pain, tightness, and swelling in the muscles connecting the legs to the feet

3. Shin Splints - Tiny tears in the front lower leg muscles

4. Stress Fractures - Small bone breaks in the feet due to overuse

5. Illiotibial Band Syndrome - Inflammation in the outer thigh

6. Hamstring Injuries - Strains and tears in the muscles in the back of the thighs

7. Knee Pain and Swelling - May be caused by injuries to the cartilage, muscles, and ligaments

8. Toe and Toe Nail Issues - Swelling or discoloration may signal infection or the need for new footwear


Many of these problems can be prevented by starting with low level activity, slowly increasing exercise intensity, stretching and strengthening muscles, warm-up and cool-down, good footwear, and cross training. Adequate hydration, nutrition, and recovery time are essential. Therapeutic massage can prevent injury, eliminate pain, facilitate healing.

Source: Advance for Physical Therapists


DO YOU KNOW A MOM WHO NEEDS A RELAXATION BREAK? GIFT CERTIFICATES AND CDs ARE NOW AVAILABLE FOR MOTHER'S DAY
(SUN. MAY 10th) !

SPRING CLEANING UNCOVERS TAX DEDUCTIONS!

It's a great time of year to clear the clutter in our homes and offices. Many items can be useful to others, especially now. Here is a guide with some helpful hints for recirculating and donating:



~ Most organizations can only use certain types of items - call or check the agency's website for a donation wish list.



~ Inquire as to whether an agency can pick up items or if they need to be dropped off at a certain location.



~ Ask for a receipt to claim a tax deduction.



Where to donate:



Big Brothers/Big Sisters http://www.bbbsmb.org/ 800-483-5503

Boomerangs http://www.aac.org/ 617-524-5120

Brookline Senior Center - gift cart items, used cell phones and iPods 617-730-2770

Coalition for the Homeless http://www.mahomeless.org/ 781-595-7570 x13

DVDs for Vets http://www.dvds4vets.org/

Goodwill/Morgan Memorial http://www.goodwillmass.org/ 617-445-1010

Got Books? http://www.gotbooks.com/ 978-327-7600

Rosie's Place http://www.rosies.org/ 617-442-9322

Salvation Army http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/ 800-958-7825

Second Step http://www.thesecondstep.org/ 617-965-3999

Solutions at Work http://www.solutionsatwork.org/ 617-576-0039



And another great resource for both giving and receiving: http://www.freecycle.org/





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DO YOU KNOW ANY STRESSED OUT OFFICE WORKERS? TREAT THEM TO MASSAGE GIFT CERTIFICATES FOR ADMINISTRATIVE PROFESSIONALS DAY (Wed. April 22nd)! Call me today to place your order - 617-738-8222

LET'S SLEEP ON IT!

Many people are having sleeping problems these days -- are you one of them?

The vicious cycle of stress and sleeplessness is very hard on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. When we don't get enough sleep, we are more likely to be forgetful, less productive, accident prone, short-tempered, and susceptible to illness. We all need to take special care of ourselves during periods of uncertainty. Here are some things that can encourage sound sleep, no matter what may be going on around us, so we can wake up with the energy to cope with whatever comes our way:

1. Although it may feel relaxing, drinking alcohol in the evening actually disrupts sleep cycles throughout the night. And, of course, caffeinated drinks are not sleep-inducing.

2. Vigorous exercise in the evening can boost energy levels, interfering with sleep. Try doing a session earlier in the day. Gentle stretching or yoga may help with relaxation before bed.

3. It is best to refrain from TV watching and computer use before bedtime, as the hormones released in response to the bright lights can keep you awake for hours afterwards.

4. Restful sleep requires a dark, quiet, and comfortable environment. Do what you can to make your bedroom feel like a safe and serene oasis.

5. Discuss with your doctor ongoing sleep concerns as well as any medications (including non-prescription) that you are taking. Sleep difficulties may be a symptom or cause of serious health problems. Some drugs and supplements interfere with sleep, and long-term use of over the counter sleep medications can produce significant side effects and medical issues.

6. Winding down for at least one half hour before bed with lowered activity in dim light can help. Also, brief periods of relaxation during your busy day will promote better rest at night.

DO YOU NEED MORE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW TO RELAX AND SLEEP BETTER? MY EASY RELAXING MEDITATION CD CAN HELP!

You can learn to meditate with the step-by-step instructions on this CD and begin to experience relaxation in just a few minutes. Not connected to any specific spiritual tradition - 65 minutes, $20.00 per CD includes shipping and tax. ($25.00 outside of US)

Please send your name, address, city, state, zip code, phone number, email, number of CD's requested, and check or money order to: Joan Hardy, 48 Dwight St. Suite 6, Brookline, MA 02446. Refunds available only for items that arrived in damaged condition. Please call me at 617-738-8222 with any questions.

6 TIPS FOR STAYING HEALTHY IN COLD AND FLU SEASON

1. Keep moving! Research shows that people who are more active get fewer colds - besides working out, activities such as walking, housework, and yard work are all helpful.

2. Keep it clean! Wash your hands frequently and thoroughly with warm water and soap for as long as it takes to sing "Happy Birthday" twice.
Contact lens wearers need to be especially diligent with hand-washing - the eyes are another route for viruses to enter your body.
If you share a telephone with others, clean it at least once a week.

3. Stay calm! Stress raises cortisol, a hormone that depletes the immune system.

4. Drink up! Drinking lots of water helps flush out potential infectious substances from your body and aids recovery if you do get sick.

5. Healthy eating! Especially fruits and veggies which contain nutrients that stave off illness.
Avoid eating at your desk - it's loaded with germs!

6. Take a snooze! Sleep is your body's strongest repair mechanism, so be sure to get enough rest.

Sources: University of South Carolina, Ohio State University Medical Center

KEEPING UP THE NEW YEAR HIGH (Part II)

Guest Author: Ann Seelye, Health and Wellness Specialist


If you made thoughtful New Year's resolutions and it's now March and you feel yourself starting to slide, the good news is that it doesn't need to happen.

Something can be learned from the New Year. It's that time when anything seems possible. You are focused clearly on what you want. And you know what? That's the most important piece of all! Because I, or any good fitness professional, can help you with the details, but the "why you want to do it" has to come from you and a strong, initial commitment.

The definition of commitment that I like is this: "The ability to carry through with a worthy decision, even when the emotion or excitement of making that decision has passed." Think about it. It's easy to get excited about starting a fitness program and dream about all the possibilities, but eventually the alarm clock goes off and you have to put on your workout shoes and do it.

What will get you out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button? Can you see it? Create a vision of where you want your health and fitness to be at the end of 2009 . . . Or even this summer! If you begin to lament about working out, conjure up that vision. Because otherwise, what's the point? If you have no vision, exercise is just exercise. Having that clarity of vision is important. How do you want to feel? What do you want to look like? (And be reasonable given your genetics, body type, age, and what's possible in one year).

Secondly, set SMART goals. You can reset or clarify your goals right now if you want or need to. Resolutions and goals can be set any time. SMART goals are goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Reasonable or Relevant, and Time-based. New Year's resolutions tend to be for a whole year which is too long a time frame. By breaking it down into much smaller steps, either weekly or monthly or for a 3 month period, which you can measure and achieve, you are much more likely to experience success. This leads to higher self-esteem and a greater chance that you'll keep going for the next week or month and be one of those who continue for 6 months or more in keeping your resolutions. An example of a SMART goal is: "My intention is to do aerobic exercise 3 times a week for 35 minutes for one month." Then keep a log or write on your calendar what you do so you are measuring.

Try each month to come up with one new habit to make (or break) that takes you closer to your vision. Or come up with one more small step you can take. Keeping up the New Year high requires a why and SMART goal setting to fulfill your vision. What's YOUR vision?


For further ideas on this topic or any exercise related topics Ann Seelye is available for consultation. Ann is a freelance health and fitness writer and speaker in the Boston area. She gives talks at companies, health clubs, and via teleclassses. She is certified as a Personal Trainer, Alexander Teacher, Master Fitness by Phone(R) Coach, as well as an Intuitive Eating Coach. Ann sees clients at Healthworks Fitness Centers, in a studio in Brookline and via telephone coaching and classes. She can be reached at 617-739-4704 or fitbyphone@aol.com.

KEEPING UP THE NEW YEAR HIGH (Part I)

Guest Author: Ann Seelye, Health and Wellness Specialist

It usually starts around February, sometimes as late as March. Has it started for you yet? "I can't exercise today because I have to go into the office early . . . my son has a dentist appointment . . . it's too dark outside . . . " Bottom line, the New Year euphoria wears off. Did you make New Year's resolutions related to exercise, eating, getting healthier and losing weight? Have you set the same resolutions other years?

What is the problem with not meeting your resolutions? Maybe there's no problem, but if your resolution was meaningful to you, it's probably something you really want to do; something you believe will improve your quality of life. For example, if you're facing a health challenge, a new, more active lifestyle might be of great benefit to you. Often people feel hopeless about their ability to make meaningful changes and their self-esteem goes down. They feel depressed and this affects their quality of life, their relationships, and their work.

About 40-45% of people in the United States make New Year's resolutions and of that group about 40% make resolutions to get more exercise. Some research has shown that after the first week 75% are still maintaining their resolution, after two weeks 71%, after two months 64% and after six months 46%. So while the number drops off quite a bit, that's still 46% of those maintaining the new behaviors they committed to. But what about the other 54% who didn't keep their resolutions?

Some of the reasons people don't keep their resolutions are they set unrealistic goals, such as, "I'm going to exercise 6 days a week all year." They set too many goals: "I'm going to get organized, lose 50 pounds and eat healthily this year." They make their goals unclear, like "I'm going to get more fit."

Some people think it's the thing to do New Year's Eve so they make resolutions off the top of their head without any real thought behind it or intention to commit. Also, some people state their resolutions in absolutes such as, "I'm never going to eat cookies again. I'm always going to exercise on Monday, Wednesday and Friday." So some of the problem is in the goal setting itself. Do you recognize any of these tendencies in your resolutions?

However, if you made thoughtful resolutions and you feel yourself starting to slide, the good news is that it doesn't have to happen . . . (Learn more in Part II next month!)


For further ideas on this topic or any exercise related topics Ann Seelye is available for consultation. Ann Richmond Seelye is a freelance health and fitness writer and speaker in the Boston, Massachusetts area. She gives talks at companies, health clubs and via teleclasses. She is certified as a Personal Trainer, Alexander Teacher, Master Fitness By Phone(R) Coach, as well as an Intuitive Eating Coach. Ann sees clients at Healthworks Fitness Centers for Women, in a studio in Brookline and via telephone coaching and classes. She can be reached at 617-739-4704 or fitbyphone@aol.com.

ARE YOU SICK OF BEING SICK?

You can use a quick, easy self-care technique called Immunics that I have found to be very effective in combating flu, colds, viruses, and other illnesses.

"Immunics is a portable, instantaneous weapon that everyone can carry around with them and everyone can do it . . . it kills viruses in around five minutes, and you can kill them in your car while you're driving to work. People pick it up in about 15 minutes . . . A minimal ability is the ability to stop flu from happening to you." - Bayard Barnes, Immunics founder

You can heal yourself! Learn more at www.immunics.org.

PLEASE FACE MONEY CONFLICTS IN YOUR HOME OR BUSINESS BEFOREHAND! (Part II)

Guest Author: Shel Miller Ph.D.


It is a necessary loss to take care to plan responsibly and talk easily and openly about how to manage expenditures before crunch time. Partnership means strategically fashioning a fair, balanced, mutually reciprocal teamwork - a team wherein you respectfully support one another.

Certainly it is worth reviewing differing attitudes about earning, spending, and budgeting money. Ask each other about conscious expectations and about role models. Hopefully partners will even access some of the heretofore hidden images from the past, stored in their brains.

Variations in how partners approach the size of their diamond engagement ring and wedding reception or the decor of your offices reflect the differing messages about money that each received from parents and extended family. Some lessons were intentionally transmitted. Other teachings were by example, including the unintended lessons.

For example, was money meant to be spent or saved, used freely for luxuries or just necessities, to be hidden or spent conspicuously? There may have been confusion between the resources of love and money. For money is often the only "nurturing" that some (e.g. workaholic) parents are able to give their spouse or children.

Feeling inferior and competitive with friends of higher socioeconomic status may cause conflict with a spouse or business partner taught to be prudent with resources. How would you feel about pressure to buy the marital or company car that represents an announcement of status? These dynamics may need to be teased out and negotiated with the assistance of a coach in addition to your accountant and attorney.


Wouldn't it be easier to explore these possibilities collaboratively while first falling in love, choosing your co-executive, or developing your business and marketing plans?


Dr. Shel J. Miller is an Executive, Family and Divorce coach. As the Keep-It-Together Expert, his mission is to lift spirits by restoring hope and peace in relationships that are struggling. He does this through Family Event Coaching and working as a Child Specialist with Collaborative Attorneys and a Parent Coordinator post litigation. His website is http://www.shelmiller.com/ and he may be reached at 617-731-9174 or ShelMiller@rcn.com.


NOW AVAILABLE: PARKING SPACES (SUBCOMPACT OR SMALLER) FOR RENT ON NAPLES RD., BROOKLINE. CALL SHEL AT THE NUMBER ABOVE FOR MORE INFORMATION.